GIANT COMIX

This is going to be a short simple, straight forward post. It’s not a fluff click bait list.

These are the 3 best superhero movies ever made, in my opinion. In descending order:

#4 (HONORABLE MENTION): THE DARK KNIGHT

Putting this movie on any list for best superhero movies marks an evolution in my thinking. I was really critical of this movie for a long time. I loved the visuals; in a lot of ways Christopher Nolan got them perfectly right. This movie looks like a comic book movie, and we get to see things in the movie that we could only see, until then, in the comics. As in the scene in China when your boy (here referred to as “Batman”) uses his cape to “fly”. Although Batman “flew” in “Batman Begins”, still, this movie took things a step further. The movie makers really had an eye toward remaining true (visually) to the comic and actually taking time to concentrate on creating iconic images and shots.

Also, every scene with Heath Ledger was too awesome. Nuff said.

Aside from that, the iconography, and the Joker, the movie pretty much falls apart after the Joker blows up Gotham General. I’ve seen the movie a couple of dozen times and no matter how many times I see it, I don’t think I’ll ever care about Harvey Dent. Oh and although I thought the directing was great, um, the most dramatic part of the movie, ie Rachel’s death, well, um, nobody cared. I certainly didn’t. And since her death wasn’t emotionally relevant, it was n’t very believable to me that Batman could be at all motivated or traumatized by it.

It was cool to see all the shots of “Lonely Batman” and “Sad Batman” and “Reflective Batman” but if upon learning about Rachel’s death, Batman had let out a raspy “That really sucks”, that would have been more than enough. And if Nolan really wanted to convey that this death was important, he could have just included a scene with Bruce Wayne telling Alfred to go to the grocery store and buy some nice flowers for the funeral. Or there could have been a scene where Bruce Wayne asks Alfred, the man servant, to pen a sweet letter eulogizing the character.

Boom. Anyways, upon reflection I have determined that this movie deserves honorable mention here. Despite some flaws, it is a really good comic adaptation.

 #3 THE MATRIX

So this is where things get weird. The Matrix, strictly speaking is not a superhero movie. So it shouldn’t be on my list, right?

Wrong.

First, The Matrix is a superhero movie. It may not be based on a Marvel or DC character or any other comic book company character but that misses the point. The Matrix is a superhero movie and belongs on this list because Neo really flexes some extra-human type powers and abilities. He fights at super speed. He dodges bullets. And he flies.

You really can’t watch The Matrix and not realize that this is a superhero movie. For a good 80 minutes, it seems like its squarely sci fi, but then your boy ( here referred to as “Neo”) jumps out of a helicopter, saves Morpheus, and then he…I mean, I can’t even describe what happens to the helicopter but he saves Trinity and its way cool. That may be a butchered description but it’s also pretty spot on. Anyway I know the sequence before is the lobby sequence, but all that gunfire feels more like a video game and not a superhero movie.

Neo is a superhero. The whole movie is really about his transformation to a superhero. And just in case there was/ is any confusion, the Wachowskis had your boy (“Neo”) literally fly off the screen to end the movie.

The Matrix is an important movie. It was so seminal in fact that it was added to the National Film Registry in 2012 for preservation. You may dispute the inclusion of this movie on this list, but if you do, please point out a better superhero movie to come out in the last 20 years than this. Or let’s make it easier:  Just name the Marvel or DC movie released over the last 20 years that is better than The Matrix.

Are those crickets I hear ?

#2 THE CHINESE CONNECTION

Also known as “Fist Of Fury”

So anyone who has seen this movie and challenges its inclusion on a list of “superhero” movies is an irresponsible fool. You probably shouldn’t be trusted to care for children or drive a car. Something is wrong with you.

Because The Chinese Connection is one of the hardest movies ever made. I could go on and on about all the amazing fight scenes but I really just want to focus on what makes this a superhero movie. 2 words: Bruce Lee.

I really can’t convey in words how much admiration I have for this man, or what he meant to me as a skinny kid growing up.

And particularly this movie blew my mind. I mean your boy (referred to here as “Chen Zhen”) walks into a Japanese dojo and challenges EVERYBODY to a fight. Who does that? And he commenced to kick all of their tails. I mean your boy picks a fight with the entire dojo, which is ill enough, but then he proceeds to methodically work his way to the center of the room, while fighting, and he backs all of them up. And then, while the whole dojo is pretty much shook, your boy…takes off his shirt???? Who does that? And after he takes off the shirt, he commences again to whip more tail.

Now seeing that when I was a little skinny insecure black kid was mesmerizing. And seeing that as a grown man is still mesmerizing.

Yeah, this is another movie that technically speaking, belongs in another category. But go watch The Chinese Connection. Try to keep from rewinding every fight scene although it’s almost impossible to just watch the movie all the way through without rewinding it. Your boy fights an entire room of dudes, and not only that but he has like a 10 ft vertical jump (in an unrelated scene). That’s some serious extra human type activity right there.

Oh, and here’s the best thing about this movie, no wires, nor CGI. Bruce is 100 in this movie. I don’t think any studio should be allowed to make an action movie if they aren’t able to find a director who has a deep abiding respect for Bruce Lee. The man must be studied. By every successive generation.

Anybody who has seen this movie and challenges its inclusion on this list should not be allowed to vote or drink alcohol. Ever.

The Chinese Connection is better than EVERY superhero movie ever made except one. If you don’t believe me, please tell me what superhero or superhero movie is better. How about this: just tell  me which superhero/ action star is harder than your boy Chen Zhen.

Batman? Please

James Bond? No

Captain America? ha ha

Your boy Chen would serve all these fools. At the same time. He would simply work his way to the center of the room, then take off his shirt and commence to doing what he do.

If you don’t believe me and are somehow not impressed with what he did in this movie, just check this out:

Your boy is playing ping pong with nunchucks???????????

WHO DOES THAT?

#1 SUPERMAN (1978)

This should be short and sweet. Don’t need a lot of words to state the obvious.

But first, if you were born in or after the 90s you may not be familiar with this movie, I don’t want to diss anybody, but you’re probably a hapless ignoramus. If you are wondering why the more recent iterations of Superman haven’t made this list or you feel that there is some Marvel movie that’s better, I would really like to sell you a timeshare in Canada or maybe help you invest your entire pension in diamondoids or pyrite nuggets.

I’ll go more in detail about this movie in a later post but let’s just agree that this is the gold standard of superhero movies. From start to finish this movie is totally perfect. The opening credits of this movie are probably more entertaining than all the DC movies that have come out in the last 15 years.

This movie has its own iconic score that is instantly recognizable to every human on this planet. This movie has Marlon Brando. And even with decades of contributions before it, this movie expanded the lore of the character in new and amazing and satisfying ways. Did you know before this movie that Superman could go back in time by reversing the rotation of the Earth?

But the best part(s) about this movie have nothing to do with the cape and outfit. Although as a kid that was all I really cared about, that’s not what makes this movie great. If this movie had no depth to it, it wouldn’t have legs.  What really makes this movie, and I feel slightly weird admitting it, is the relationship between Lois and Clark/ Superman. And to be totally honest, although Christopher Reeves is amazing and plays the part perfectly, Margot Kidder steals every scene she’s in. She does not get the credit but it’s really hard to take your eyes off her even when she’s standing in a shot with your boy (referred to here as “Superman”).

Margot Kidder is the unappreciated element in this movie that makes this movie what it is. Without her this movie would not be nearly as great as it is. As a little kid, or grown man, I really shouldn’t care about the sequence where Lois and Superman fly together. And who’s idea was it to have her recite some poem?  I don’t know, but whoever is responsible is a brilliant genius.

That scene is just beautiful. Perfect in every way. Really Reeves and Kidder have amazing chemistry. You really want them to get together, you really want Clark to “win” her over. And there’snot a dull moment between the two.

And when you see it for the first time and watch Lois die, your heart races. It wouldn’t be appropriate for Superman to say “That really sucks”. When he goes bananas, it’s awesome. Christopher Reeves nailed that scene. It’s iconic (it ranks up there with William Shatner’s “Khaaaaaaaaan!!!!!”)

Superman is the best superhero movie ever made.

No question.

The 3rd step in taking over the comic book business is a natural and critical extension of step #2. While Step #1 involved the task of creating a superhero universe, and step#2 focused on developing a business strategy for your heroes, step #3 follows a similar but slightly different, trajectory.

Step #3: Study the business environment, do your homework, and target the competition

Let’s continue to use Giant Comix as our example since Giant Comix is the future of all comics. In doing extensive research into this particular industry, in developing Giant Comix, I specifically wanted to emulate the successes of past companies and avoid their mistakes and failures.

After exhaustive study basically I learned an invaluable lesson, which is simply this: all of Marvel and DC’s business decisions for the first 50 – 70 years of their respective existence were all awful. Just awful.  In fact, if you want to learn what not to do when developing a comic book company, simply study the rich histories of both of those companies.

Some examples include: don’t sign stupid licensing deals for your superheroes in which your company stands to not profit. Don’t sign stupid TV deals that give away your royalty rights to the shows featuring your characters. Don’t sell your characters. Don’t sell the movie rights to your characters. Don’t outsource your merchandising. Don’t price kids out of buying your comic books. Don’t conspire with a single distributor to reduce the availability of comics to ensure pre-order sales and appease investors.

I would include “don’t sell yourself to Disney” but as long as you can churn out billion dollar movies I guess I’d be wrong.

Ironically just about every poor decision the major comic book companies made over the years ended up being better for the consumers. Signing those stupid deals generated an incentive for retailers to come up with a wide range of crap to make money off of. Kids loved that stuff; I remember I had a Spider-man bedsheet that was made out of some kind of plastic wire mesh. I guess it was supposed to be a bed sheet/ tarp/ car cover. Whatever it was wasn’t very comfortable but I thought it was cool because it had a big giant image of Spiderman swinging through the city at night.

Marvel probably had nothing to do with that bedsheet and they probably didn’t even make any money off the sale either. I got a bedsheet. They got zip.

But probably the worst business decision they ever made, aside from selling to Disney, was selling Spiderman and X-Men to SONY. This was an AWFULLY STUPID thing to do and it was the best thing that happened to the superhero business since the creation of Superman. If it weren’t for that bonehead move, we might not have seen the Marvel cinematic universe. Might not have seen The Avengers or Iron Man. Not having their most popular (Spiderman) and hottest (X-men) characters forced Marvel to look in another direction when it was finally ready to make movies.

So they had to focus on Iron Man et al at that point because they really had nothing else. The logic of creating a whole cinematic universe under those conditions was pretty clear. After all, the heroes they had left weren’t nearly as compelling as stand alone characters as they were when paired and contrasted with other superheroes of the universe. So what was a bad business decision for them eventually led to movies like Ant-man & the Wasp, and Captain America, and Doctor Strange. And Thor. These are movies I never thought I’d ever get the chance to see.

The past 15 years has been for me a childhood dream come true.

And I’ve only had one minor problem with all these amazingly successful films from Marvel/Disney, and DC/Warner Bros.: they all bored me so much I stopped watching them. Maybe one day, if I want to seem like a nice guy, a fair guy, I’ll sit down and watch every Marvel/ DC movie before I continue being critical of them. I did see Black Panther, after all. So it can be done.

But then I’d have to watch the last IronMan movie. And the Guardians of the Galaxy movies. And the last Thor movie. And the last 2 Avengers movies. And Ant-man. And Ant-man and Wasp. And Doctor Strange. And then I’d have to watch Wonder Woman, just to be fair to DC. I’d have to watch Batman v Superman also. And Justice League. I’m not watching Suicide Squad, but I’d probably have to watch Aquaman when it comes out.

I have no interest. None. Zip. I’ll not reveal all my reasons in this post but some of them are fairly obvious. First, the Marvel movies should really be called Disney movies because they all follow the Disney formula. I learned in college that you can’t have a good action story without a good villain but Disney believes scary villains scare kids so all of Marvel/Disney villains are pretty weak.

Just ask yourself who was your favorite Marvel villain? Does it take you a second to remember any villain that comes before the last Marvel movie you saw? There have been some great actors playing Marvel villains but when your villains aren’t truly threatening, your action movie isn’t at all dramatic or suspenseful. It’s just a popcorn movie.

Secondly none of these movies are aspirational or, dare I say, romantic. From what I’ve heard of Wonder Woman, and from what I saw in Black Panther, the studios have learned to copy what JJ Abrams did in the Star Trek reboot; Abrams told a mini story before the actual movie, that was dramatic and exciting, and that set the stage for everything that followed. More importantly as a primer, that opening sequence gave more heft to the overall story. It worked in Lord of the Rings, and was brilliant when used to introduce us to the character of James Kirk. It’s been done to great effect before, mind you. Just go watch Superman (1978)

But while this technique gives the movie a sense of import, it is a poor substitute for real aspirational or emotional depth. For most of Hollywood’s long history, movie making seemed to center around morals. Movies were trying to make statements, in some form or fashion. Because today’s Disney movies typically don’t aspire to that, they all tend to lose resonance. These are successful movies but forgettable movies. They are fantastic depictions of some of the coolest ideas ever put on paper, yet they all blend together in memory, and oddly each movie seems to take you to a great many places without going anywhere at all.

Giant Comix is going to make way better movies than that. Every movie we make will be made with an eye toward making a better superhero movie than the best superhero movie ever made: Superman (1978). Making a billion dollars opening weekend won’t be our priority. When you come see our movies, you’re going to forget all your troubles and all your problems and you’re going to feel like you’re traveling to another world. And when you walk out of one of our movies, you’re going to want to go out and change somebody’s life.

You’re going to want to go out and do something heroic. Be somebody heroic.

You’re going to want to be a Giant.

But I’ll get to more about that later…